The,
Mind still amazes me. How it can remember a pushed away memory, how it can convince you that you’re still in that moment of time and how it can make you feel as if you’re crazy. The mind can even control you if you’re not careful.
I tried to be patient, waited too long.. but I woulda came back for youuuu
Mind still amazes me. How it can remember a pushed away memory, how it can convince you that you’re still in that moment of time and how it can make you feel as if you’re crazy. The mind can even control you if you’re not careful.
i wonder what biggie was thinking before he got shot.
and i stopped loving. i found god, and i stopped looking for one,
still lost still here. no past. don’t care about lookin back anyway.Â
nothin matters anyway. cuz i’m still lost, still here.Â
We throw the word love around like it’s the foundation of everything there is.Â
Probably true, but I’m starting to see that it’s time to pack away that word. Let it grow on it’s own, if it even grows a little. That’ll be enough in the future.
Be cold. Be indifferent & don’t let em find what you love. so they wouldn’t hurt you. hello, goodbye.Â
let me try this. writing is a curse because you’re establishing your thoughts but when you read all of them, they make 0 sense.Â
sounded better in my head. always does.Â
because sometimes a start is all we’ll ever get.
I want to scream from the top of my lungs and drink a gallon of alcohol until I pass out and wake up vomitting.Â
I’m so irritated with every little thing. I fucking hate everything. I am so tired, my heart, my soul, my god damn body is so tired.Â
All i’ve ever want is consistency. Something or someone that won’t leave. But even that is so hard. Working for myself is so hard as well because I always find reasons to put myself down.Â
I just want to be at peace with myself. I want my motivation, my passion, my heart back. I want to smile real smiles and dream. I want to have big dreams and i don’t want to be scared anymore,Â
but even the thought of having big dreams scare me. cus i’m scared i’ll lose it again.Â
I’m so so so so so so tired,Â
I wish you could see me trying hard.Â
“you’re so cute. and you smell so good, and you’re so soft.. you’re like a little jelly bean.. my little jelly bean.”
(Source: freepeople, via neonskywildhaze)
i envisioned this post to be lengthy, but I can’t find the words to describe the events I wish to talk about.
I just want to say that I think I am really in love with you. And I used to say that don’t know why.. and I always said that not because I can’t point out specific qualities that you have, but because I really can’t bring myself to admit that my feelings for you are just so big.
I somewhat feel shameful, that someone could be so important to me. but i guess i don’t mind saying that you’re one of the few that i’d die for.. i don’t know how else to put it out there. Just always remember that you have changed me in a lot of ways.Â
The past few months have been hell for me, partly because you left me.. and I felt like i wasn’t anything to you. But mostly because I knew i was capable of doing better and that was what I didn’t want. Because the good just doesn’t feel AS good without you.Â
I don’t know where I’m getting at.. I’m running out of words and I guess I just want to stress that i love you. and that i’m thankful for you.
I love you with all of me. This type of love that gets me so weak. I never knew this could happen.. that you could just feel that you could give yourself away to a person and be confident that they would shower you with care and show you what it is like to be happy.Â
 I’m just so glad to have you again. I love you jimmy. I guess that’s when you know.. when he’s hurt you so many times, but you can’t even bring yourself to call him a “bitch” because in your heart you know that only he could love you with the love that you’ve always needed. That’s when you know.. Â
that this type of love doesn’t just die easily. This is type of love that moved so silently and crept under your skin, through your heart; the type of love that held on to your soul as if it’s there to add depth to it.. as if that is its sole purpose. We both know that type of love because that’s us… so here’s to us and here’s to a second chanceÂ
There is no way. You truly never get over someone. You just adjust to living without them. The connection you’ve made with them, the memories you had with them, and the life you would have had with them just fades to the back of your head… but in my opinion, you will always have a spot for them in your heart. I think the only way to minimize the pain, withdrawals, and desperation is to leave it alone. I don’t know, really.. there are so many inevitable phases of neediness after a breakup, but there will be a point where you just learn to be okay. I don’t know, it’s different for everybody.Â